Ginevra Weasley's Diary
by LolitaSnake
Summary: A look at Ginny's deepest desire's and fantasies. Warning: Sexual Content. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

I had that dream again. The one where he comes into my room and sits on the bed with me.

"Ginny," he says, "I need you. You make me feel alive." Then he kisses me slowly and passionately. His hands wander all over my body and undress me. He plays with my hair and kisses my neck. Then he stops and says;

"Do you think this is real? You're a child! I would never want, need or love you!" And I wake up. I feel so alone. He's everywhere I go. I walked into the drawing room yesterday and he was writing a letter at the desk. I sat in the arm chair and pretended to read. I watched him write. He looked amazing, even when he wiped ink on his nose and cursed.

I know I love him, but how can I act upon this? If I just tell him he will surely think I have a crush and tell me I will get over it in time. That's what Hermione thinks. She is so harsh about it. She said the only reason I'm attracted to him is because I can't have Harry and he's the next big protector. I never loved Harry; I had a crush on him when I was 11. I got over it.

No this is different. Although sometimes I think I might just be a little obsessed with him. I dream of him every night and think about him all day every day.

Right I have decided. When I go back to Hogwarts I will just have to sleep with someone and see if I feel differently when I come back in the holidays.

I am a bit scared though, about losing my virginity. I wanted to give it to him as the ultimate gift, but I also want to be just as experienced as anyone he's already been with. I don't think he's been with anyone in a long time though. He never leaves this horrid place.

Sometimes I just wish I could touch him. My hand brushed his thigh last night at dinner, but that hardly counts. I want to firmly hold him in my arms. I want to touch every inch of him. I want to kiss every part of his body. I want to make him feel wanted and loved. He always looks so sad and alone.

I am afraid that when we all go back to Hogwarts he'll do something stupid, like leave just to feel the sun on his skin. I don't want anyone to find him. I don't want him to ever leave me. Even if I can never have him I still want to see him every day.

I keep daydreaming about him at inappropriate times. Like when my mother was talking about staying out of trouble at school, I was thinking of his mouth doing wonderful things to me in my most intimate areas. I had a boy do things to me once. It was ok, but he was more worried about me taking care of him. He said that if I wouldn't have sex then I should suck him off and enjoy it. Well I did especially when I bit down and drew blood.

I don't like being told what to do.

If I'm going to sleep with someone it should really be with a teacher. I need to know I can have an older man. I need that confidence. The only one I could do it with is Snape though. That would be hilarious in so many different ways! Can you imagine? I always wanted to know if he was big. I think I saw something one day in potions. Could have been nothing though.

Wow I just read this all back to myself and I am so distracted and all over the place. All of this has made me so horny. I think I will go take care of myself.

First my new list;

Sleep with Severus Snape.

Find something sexy to wear.

Practice my oral technique.

Confide to Sirius after getting him drunk.

I also must make sure everyone else will be out.

Well goodnight to you my faithful diary. I know you never judge me and my thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

Well I'm back at Hogwarts and I feel so alone. Everyone has their little clicks and I don't fit into any. Nobody has even noticed I have stopped coming to meals. Well the teachers have noticed, but so far they don't really care. Our head 'bitch' just wanted to make sure I wasn't anorexic.

I hate this place. I want to be near him again. I want to smell him. That sounds so gross. He smells so nice, like violets and jasmine.

I had potions today. It was interesting. I showed some cleavage and brushed his leg when he looked at my potion. He didn't pull away, but he didn't do anything else. I was hoping he would keep me after class and take me then and there.

I think I'll have to put a lot of work into this one. Tomorrow is another day with no enjoyment. Just stupid transfiguration and divination. It sucks.

The fantastic three are pissing me off. Harry is acting all alone and misunderstood. So what if he saw Voldemort come back last year. It's not like he's felt him inside him. I must say I enjoyed it though. I loved not having to care about where I was or what I was doing. It was nice to have a blank mind for once. Anyway I don't think all Voldemort's ideas are bad.

I realised today that Snape is quite sexy. He has this sexy walk. He's commanding, but when you get it right he does give praise. Like today, before I brushed his leg, he said my strengthening solution was impeccable. He didn't sing my praises but it was nice to hear a compliment.

Goodnight G

Today sucked like I predicted. I could only eat half my dinner when I went to the kitchens. I'm so lonely and lovesick I just don't want to eat anymore. I miss him so much. I'm tearing up, how freaking sad is that!

G

Today was much better than yesterday. Mostly because I had potions again. My dear potions master is really starting to grow on me. Today he demonstrated how to skin a Shrivelfig. He was so thorough and the face he pulls when he's concentrating turned me on so much. I stayed back after everyone had left and asked him to demonstrate again. I said some bull about whoever was next to me talking. I expected him to say no and tell me to go away, but instead he showed me again.

When he had finished he looked at me straight in the eyes and said something about turning the blade. I wasn't listening I reached across the desk and stroked his check. I was curious about how his skin felt. It was so soft and a little greasy from the stem and sweat. He grabbed my hand and asked me what I was doing. All I could say was "touching you"… DUH! I am stupid, I know. I ran out and went to the stupid DA meeting.

And so the masquerade continues.

G

I haven't written in ages. There is just so much schoolwork. I haven't eaten in two days and I've only seen people in class and at the DA meetings.

Snape has started brushing my thigh whenever he checks my potion in class. It really turns me on. Yesterday I retaliated by brushing my hand on his crotch. He was hard and pretty big by what I felt. He smirked at me and it made me want to jump on him and fuck him then and there. I'm enjoying the teasing though. I'm also worried about it being my first time… That's so sad. We all have to lose it right?

Time to study again….

G

It happened. I am no longer a virgin. It was so fucking good! I was packing my things up and Snape told me to stay. He said he wanted to discuss my last essay. Everyone looked scared for me. Once they were gone he closed, locked and silenced the door. He then walked over to me and said, "Do you want me Miss Weasley?". To which I answered "Yes Master", in my most innocent voice. I swear he actually growled as he ripped off my robes. He threw me on his desk and ripped into me. He wasn't gentle, but I liked it. It was amazing. He slapped me and chocked me. I felt so weird and amazing. I felt like I was floating while he chocked me. And then I felt like my insides had twisted them selves into a knot. I felt this massive pressure and then this wave of pure ecstasy. My mind was blank and I felt good once more.

Afterwards he repaired my clothes and kissed me tenderly. Then he said, "Yes I am your master now."

It was so fucking hot! And he is so sexy. This is lust though. I still love my gorgeous Sirius. I miss him so much, but soon I'll see him again. One week til the holidays. I can't wait to smell him. I'm going to make sure I sit next to him every night at dinner. I might eventually have the balls to tell him how I feel. I can only hope I will have him soon. I think I would prefer some more practice first though. Especially if it feels that good all the time.

No longer pure, G


	3. Chapter 3

I'm on the train, going home. My last lesson with snape was interesting. He was angrier than usual towards us. He didn't look at me once and he didn't look at my potion. It was weird and I feel a little upset. It's like he's punishing me for what happened.

I can't wait to see Sirius. Just another hour and I'll be sitting next to him eating dinner. I'll be able to smell him. I can even have my usual, accidentally on purpose touch. I wonder what he's been doing while we've all been away.

I would love to find out he's been thinking of me. That's wishful thinking. How could he think of me as anything more than a child? I wish I were older. I don't fit in anywhere. Maybe I am just an angsty teenager. All I know is I want him and all of him good, bad and ugly.

G

I have been here for three days now and it's been emotional. Tonight for the first time we're all going out to some muggle thing. Of course Sirius can't go so I'm going to fake sick and stay here. Maybe I'll work up the courage to tell him.

G

My dearest diary this is going to be the longest entry you have ever received. Last night while everyone was out I got what I have been dreaming about. Sirius and I made love. It was so different from that afternoon with Snape. Anyway I'll start from the beginning.

After everyone was gone I went downstairs and sat in the kitchen. I got into the firewhisky and started drowning my sorrows. I didn't think I would ever be able to tell him how I feel. I had drunk a quarter of the bottle when he walked in with only his pants on. It was a wonderful sight for me. I looked at him and then I realised he looked worried. So I asked him what was wrong. He said, "you're underage and a quarter way through that bottle and you ask me what's wrong…" Ok fair enough. So I blurted out that I had more than enough reason to drink because I am in love with an older man that doesn't notice me the way I want. Drunken talk is so funny. Anyway I started bawling and he asked me who I was in love with. So I told him. I looked up at him and said you.

He walked across to me and kissed me. He held me close and I felt myself melt into him. It was beautiful. He kissed all of me and made me explode over and over. He really was amazing. After he held me and asked me why I loved him. I couldn't answer him. I don't know why I love him.

He hasn't spoken to me since. He doesn't seem angry just upset. I've written him a letter listing all the things that make me love him. I can't pinpoint one reason. I just do. I don't know if we'll be together again. He seems scared of my parents. To be honest I am too. Also he'd be worried about Harry. He is his godson after all and everyone knows I fancied him so Sirius could be forgiven in thinking something happened.

Everyone enjoyed going out so I think they'll be doing it more often. Of course Sirius can't and I can always fake sick again. That's the one good thing about being female. You're sick once a month every month and no one questions it.

G

We leave today. I am so sad. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave him again. I'm worried about being in the same room as Snape again. I would feel like I'm cheating on Sirius. I'm going to try and get some time alone with him before we have to leave. I just want one last kiss to help me get through the next few weeks. I really do love him more than anything in the shitty world. I keep dreaming about when he walked into the kitchen shirtless. Damn he's sexy…

G


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't have a chance to talk to Sirius before we left. So now I'm trying to write him a letter, on the train, with Luna looking over my shoulder. I don't know what to write. I need to know what he wants from me. I think I'll just send one sentence. 'Do you regret it?'…

I sent it and now I'm freaking out. What if he did regret it? What if the owl can't get it to him? Luna's owl isn't the most reliable, but I couldn't wait until tomorrow. We're almost at Hogsmeade now so I better get changed into my robes.

G

First day back has been hectic! I got a reply from Sirius at breakfast. He said he did regret it, he feels like a monster for 'Taking advantage of a fourteen year old whilst under the influence of firewhisky.' He also asked who 'deflowered' me and said nothing could happen between us ever again. Well fuck. Isn't it all just fine and fucking dandy… To top it all off I have double potions first thing in the morning and, judging by the looks Snape has been giving me, it isn't going to be pleasant.

I wonder if he feels like a monster? Surely not. He didn't go to Voldemort because he's a good guy. I wonder if he truly is on our side. Did I give my 'flower' to the ultimate bad boy? That is just hilarious!

I am so angry! I'm sending a howler to Sirius. The prick. I'll tell him who deflowered me and hopefully they'll duel over it. Sirius defending my honour (what's left of it) and Snape trying to kill him for fun. That would be interesting to watch.

G

Snape is a git. A week of detention… For dropping a book while he was talking.

G

I fell asleep in the common room after scrubbing cauldrons. Now I feel and look like shit.

G

I'm waiting for Snape in his office. I don't know what happened, but I have never seen him this angry. I'm supposed to be in charms. I haven't even had breakfast, he met me outside the great hall and sent me straight here. Things were a lot louder in there than usual. I'm sure something has happened and I bet it's to do with Sirius. I shouldn't have sent that fucking howler. I'm so stupid! Oh god here he comes…

G

I've really fucked up… Snape got a howler from Sirius. He said 'I know what you did to her snivellus.' So Snape decided to read my mind. He went through everything. He knows everything. I expected him to rage at me, but he asked if I planned on telling anyone else what had happened. I told him I didn't and I only told Sirius because I knew it would make him angry. Then Dumbledore knocked on the door. He asked Snape what was going on. I quickly told Dumbledore I had played a prank on Sirius and Snape saying that Snape had been inappropriate with me. I apologised to both of them and said I would set Sirius straight. Snape gave me another week's detention and Dumbledore said he would write to my parents…

So now I'm waiting to her from my beloved parents and Sirius. I'm confused about Snape. After reading my mind he didn't seem angry anymore. It was more like he pitied me.

I better go pretend to eat dinner. Detention again yay!..

G

Classes are about to start and I've locked myself in the bathroom. Snape sent me to filch for detention last night. I don't like him at all…

Sirius wrote to tell me he didn't believe it was a lie. He said he'd be watching Snape from now on. Mum sent me a lovely letter telling me that my 'prank' was not funny at all and she would be talking to dad about sending me to beauxbatons.

I don't want to change schools. I'm such an idiot. I would never be able to put up with those prissy French bitches. I'm going to tell them I'll never act out again and I'll promise them outstandings in my OWLS. I better get to class if I want to convince them to let me stay.

G

Finally I'm in bed. I worked my arse off in all my classes today. Detention was strange. Snape made me sort all the potions ingredients in the store room. Why people can't put them in the right place, I do not know. When I finished he asked me to sit down. He then asked me if I was ok. I burst into tears. I think it all finally hit me. I had sex with Sirius after confessing my love to him. He didn't say he loved me and not once since had he asked if I was ok. He only cared about how he felt. I blurted this all out through my sobs. Snape tilted my chin up towards him and said 'Sirius is a self absorbed sex maniac that would take advantage of anyone he could and therefore is a waste of your affections.' Then he told me to get out before he took points off for being out after curfew.

I am expecting a letter from my parents at breakfast. I hope they let me stay.

G


	5. Chapter 5

Dad wrote and said I can stay! I'm so happy. He also said he expects me to keep my promise and get the highest grades I can. So I won't be able to write as much. From now on I'll be a mini Hermione. Minus the annoying hand waving and bushy hair. I really want to know if I can get all outstandings on my OWLS. It's not like I'm stupid I just much prefer to have fun than study. No more quidditch for me! I really don't want to go home for the holidays. I don't want to face Sirius. I think Snape was right. I was so stupid to think he would ever love me. Azkaban has driven him insane, mostly. He's also obsessed with Harry. Look back over their interactions I think Sirius might swing both ways. I think I will stay here for the holidays. Library will be close…. Bloody Snape I have detention and I don't want to go after last time. I'm a freaking mess. What is wrong with me! And to think I never believed mum when she told me how bad my hormones would get!

G

So it's been a month since I wrote last and heaps has happened. Umbridge has been appointed High Inquisitor of Hogwarts, by the ministry. She's been inspecting the other teachers teaching methods and everything. She's passed an educational decree today, disbanding all student groups, teams etc. We think it because of Dumbledore's Army. A secret study group the untouchable golden trio has started to help us all learn DADA. A lot have people have joined. We're having the first meeting tomorrow. Snape has been weird towards me. I haven't had any detentions since the first week, but I've also been on my best behavior... He's been watching me. Every mealtime I catch him looking at me at least twice. I swear he's been following me in the corridors as well. When I turn around there's never anyone there. A couple of times I think I've seen the edge of his cloak. I keep dreaming about the night we had sex. I think it's because I've been depriving myself. I haven't had time to think about masturbating let alone actually do it. Every night I wake up from an amazing romp with Snape, my body aching and I have to roll over and get back to sleep so I can get up early to study. No wonder Hermione is so wound up. She needs a good fuck! And so do I! Maybe I should have one over the Christmas holidays. I want Snape again, but I'm worried Sirius will find out somehow. I'm probably better off getting with a student, but they're just so stupid!

G

Fred, George and Harry have all been banned from quidditch for bashing Malfoy. The stupid wanker was insulting our families! Umbridge is a fucking cow. I can't believe Dumbledore is putting up with this shit! At least we're all learning DADA thanks to Harry and Dumbledore's army. I'm going to try out for seeker. It means I'll have even less time to myself, but the thought of us losing the quidditch cup is too upsetting.

G

I'm on the team! I would much prefer to play chaser though. Snape has put me in detention. I accidently dozed off for a few minutes. At least it's only one and not a week's worth. I'm finally starting to feel happy again since all the shit with Sirius. I'm thinking of fucking Snape even more since he gave me detention.

G

Detention sucked! I had to chop and preserve frog's livers. Disgusting! Snape watched me the entire time. It was quite disturbing. He made me so nervous that I cut my finger so deep you could see the bone. Within seconds he was out from behind his desk and was holding my hand. He healed it, but held my hand for what seemed to be hours. In reality it was only a minute or so. Then he told me to get out. I'm really freaked out. It felt so good when he was holding my hand in his. His hands are so warm and big. I feel so small next to him. So vulnerable and yet I still feel safe around him. He freaks me out, I don't know whose side he's on and I still feel safe with him. What is wrong with me? I think I must be truly insane… Maybe I should finally say yes to going out with Michael Corner.

G


	6. Chapter 6

I give up. I swear all of this drama is driving me crazy. The early morning study sessions, skipping meals, quidditch practice and all this sexual frustration! I get myself off at least twice a day and still I am constantly horny. I wish someone would just tell me what to do!  
G

We someone certainly did tell me what to do. I took another little nap in potions and my dashing professor threatened anyone that woke me with detention. Why you ask? Everybody thinks it was so he could give me extra detention which is sort of true. I have three detentions to serve, but I don't think I'll mind after the last one.

Shall I put some details in? Yes I think I will.

After the class finished Snape woke me up with a very loud "MISS WEASLEY!"

I was so confused and before I knew it I was standing in front of his desk. He told me that anything either of us said or did in his classroom, office or private quarters would never be mentioned to anyone and asked if I would take and unbreakable vow. Of course I jumped at the opportunity. How could I not? I am so sexually frustrated!

Afterwards he asked told me that my safe words are 'ice' for stop, 'cold' for I don't like that and 'warm' for take it slow. He also told me if a refused to do as he said without the use of a safeword I would be punished. It's a good thing I read a lot of trash muggle fiction or I would have had no idea what I was in for!

He then proceeded to 'correct' how I was standing, feet apart, shoulders back, chin up with eyes down. He was behind me most of the time and when he did walk in front of me all I saw was those sexy dragon skin boots. He then told me to undress and get back into position. I felt so exposed and I swear I blushed from head to toe. He took me through to his chambers after ordering me to keep my eyes closed until he said I could open them. He even turned me around a few times so I have no idea which way we went.

He made me lie face down on his bed and tied my arms to the headboard. I still had my eyes squeezed shut when I felt him press his naked body against my back. I was so shocked, I hadn't even heard him undress, my eyes flew open and he said in the sexiest whisper;

"I do believe, Miss Weasley that I told you to keep your eyes closed until I told you otherwise. Now I am going to have to punish you for disobeying me. Prepare yourself for a spanking, little girl."

It was amazing. Each time he spanked me this jolt of electricity shot through me. After the first few smacks I was getting wet, after the fifteenth I was dripping and begging him to touch me.

Which he did, starting with licking my toes. It was sweet torture. I couldn't even see him. It was driving me crazy. When I felt him kneel between my legs and pull my hips up I was so happy. He fucked me hard again. Hard and fast and I came hard and fast. That position was amazing.

Afterwards he told me to hurry along to dinner, but wouldn't let me wear my panties. He kept them and now all I can think about is what he could be doing with them now...  
G


End file.
